Shared Horrors
By Lawrence Engels II

I laid my feelings out,
All on the line
I thought you understood,
I thought we were fine

My mind in shambles,
I could not think
I felt I was drowning,
I felt myself sink

You're the first that I thought could
Feel my pains
I hyperventilate,
My chest strains

I have never felt this way before,
I panicked and acted rash
I see the mistakes I made,
I truly see that

My worst fear happened;
I pushed you away beyond my reach
Out of all the outcomes I envisioned,
This didn't even occur to me

I found out the hard way
Your answer was no
You went over my head
And my hopes are dead

The hardest part for me right now
Is that I can't even be mad
I have tried and tried to feel anger
But sadly I understand

I know you want secrecy
Because for a long time I did too
Only a few of us know and I will honor that
Because of my respect for you

I'm still human, all I want is to talk,
But you ignore me
It hurts so bad to miss your gaze
That it's hard to act normally

Unfortunately there isn't more to say;
I just need to learn from this and move forward
I know now how difficult life for us can be
Even if we share the same horrors